Zestfully Seeking Towels.

Around 3:30 in the morning... yesterday... I had an epiphany. I realized that I had to... HAD TO have one of those big towels from the old 1980s Zest soap commercials. You know the ones...

"You're not fully clean unless you're ZESTFULLY clean!" sang whilst a person whom I assume is "zestfully clean" demurely snaps a towel across their more scantily clad parts which testifies to this very fact.

How great would life be if I owned one of those towels.

So I wrote a letter to Proctor and Gamble:

Dear Sir or Madame,
It has come to my attention that my purpose in life is to infact, own a Zest towel as shown in your 1980's commercials. I too, hope to be zestfully clean. Seriously, I would appreciate any assistance in locating said towel for immediate purchase.
Good day,
J. Pavlovich