Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood, Mr. Federline.

Its a little after one in the morning on Saturday and I'm already asleep after my long day of shuffleboard and complaining about teenagers to cashiers at the grocery store. I say asleep, but I really mean TRYING to sleep since the neighbors upstairs are involved in the Ultimate Fighting Championship. It sounds like they are overturning dressers up there with all the yelling. Its been going on since around 6 in the evening. Finally, everyone in my whole apartment is up as we try to figure out how to locate the local sheriff's number as it is not available online and or in the phonebook... way to go Sanlando area.... and then it finally stops. Tasha and I went to take the dogs out and there they are sitting on their balcony smokin' it up. We just glared at them and took the dogs back in. These are the days when I wish I was one of those enormous middle aged black women in movies that no one messes with. I'd heave my fat ass right up those stairs and get in their faces and maybe even toss someone over the balcony into the lawn before heading back off to bed. But alas, I like to veil my chicken-shittiness in a cloak of maturity and try to forget about the precious hours shaved off of my happy sleepy time.Well, this morning, as I'm leaving for work, I got a better look at this douchebag who was again sitting out on the balcony in his boxers smoking a cigarette (hopefully not planning to rob my apartment when I leave) and he looks exactly like Kevin Federline. Same disgusting, dirty, only a middle-class white, rebellious, 14 year old who hates their parents, could love him kind of guy. I almost choked on my Nature's Valley Granola Bar. But what can you do? So I just put on some Britney and drove away to work, hoping the crackheads stay away long enough for me to get the HELL out of apartment complexes forever.Amen.