Schloozing Weight and More

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think there are some things you just don' t think about cleaning. I mean, I'm not completely disgusting, I just think that some things go unnoticed more than others. For example, I remember that I want to shampoo the carpet. I remember that I'm running out of clean laundry or that there are dishes in the sink barking my name. Today, however, I realized that I haven't cleaned my desk, I mean, really cleaned my desk since before Christmas. So I peeled off all the "work junk" and sought out some cleaner and a rag. Then another rag. Then another. I went through three sheets of paper towel to clean my little area and it occured to me that while I may clean my screen and dust off my immediate work area, I have seriously neglected some spots. The dust behind my monitor was three feet thick and hairy. I discovered that my computer actually has a built in pen holder, it was just filled with dust! Then, the keyboard I usually keep in pretty decent shape, but underneath it was a virtual treasure trove of gross. It looked like I was growing micro mini potatoes under there. I'm pretty grossed out by this. I would really like to remember to keep things cleaner, but I'm afraid of adding anything else to my list o' self improvement stuff that I never do. For example, I have lowered my standards on losing weight and have just decided to "schloooze" weight as that is much easier. Schloozing weight is when you weigh yourself on Sunday morning and realize that you tip the scales at 314.7 pounds. So, maybe you do a little extra at the gym. Just a little. Maybe you skip the ice cream... I mean, no. Maybe you skip the.... fat free yogurt mid meal snack. So that way, next Sunday morning when you get on the scale, you weigh 314.3 pounds. Do you see?! That means you have schleft off .4 pounds! SUCCESS!!! I'm going to write a book because schloozing weight is much more rewarding than loosing weight. Honestly. This week I Schlost .2 pounds so Mike and I decided to celebrate by getting ice cream. Do you see how grand life can be when you just lower your standards?