Unlike your typical female, I despise shoe shopping. I seriously hate it. Don't get me wrong, I love shoes, I just can't afford the ones I want. DAMN YOU JIMMY CHOO!!!! ANYWAY. This has nothing to do with Mr. Choo. I need new gym shoes. Seriously. I left the house this morning with my gym bag, frozen lunch, work files, etc. but left my poor gym shoes sitting on the floor in my living room.I'm now open to taking bets as to how destroyed via pug they will be when I get home. Not just because they are shoes, but because they have a particular delictable quality that only a pug can appreciate. A quality that would have most people running to the nearest DSW (I do not shop there. I will not put anything on my foot that is from that store. I just have to throw that in there. Thanks.)1. They started out as a blue light special from Wal-Mart in good ol' Fenton. My mom got them for me when I was in surgery and couldn't protest.2. Since then they have been worn almost soley at the gym. However, they suck and they provide no sort of support whatsoever.... that being said.... I am a stubborn enough person that I will REFUSE to stop my workout early for a disturbing pain on my heels. SO... I have caused my heels to bleed in these things so now we have them covered in blood, sweat, and wal-mart.3. I was wearing them the day that we took Midas hiking in Wekiva Springs after two days of rain. I was pretty convinced that the water wasn't too deep to walk through. I was wrong.4. More blood and gym sweat.5. The Piece de resistance: A dachsund peed on my left shoe. It wasn't like an all out flood gate pee or anything, he just came up and marked me... so it wasn't a lot. Enough to make me scream. Enough to be gross.6. I can't put them in our washer because they are too loud and we live on the second floor of an apartment complex.7. NOW they lie in wait, smothered in "gross," the very lifeblood of the existence of a pug, on my living room floor. Ain't no way those babies are making it through today without a thrashing and a feasting of laces and fabric.Lets recap:My shoes are coated with several layers of filth including but not limited to:Blood, sweat, Essence de Wal-Mart, mud, dog drool, Daschund pee.R.I.P. Wal-mart gym shoes. R.I.P.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
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