Friday, December 21, 2007

Hang Up the Chick Habbit

Incase I hadn't remembered to thank my lucky stars, lately, that I turned tail and ran from a "would-be" career in Journalism, I was reminded yet again how many are employed with similar lack-luster "skills." I made the stupid mistake of clicking on an article off of the site, famous for providing paychecks to people who likely scribble out their articles while on the toilet. They're really that bad and many of them actually leave an aftertaste of crap in the mouth.

One such piece of cyber-trash was what I thought might be a kitchy or humorous take on decoding your potential partner by what their favorite Christmas movie is. It sounded cute, I was bored... yada, yada, yada....

Basically, it was a girl and a guy each giving their opinions about someone of the opposite sex whose favorite Christmas movie was: _______.
Whoever the girl was had pretty positive things to say about just about every holiday persona. It lacked any vision, it wasn't funny and read like a fortune cookie from Phat Ho Super Buffet, but it wasn't mean spirited. The male counterpart of this article, however, seemed to find no woman at all that was worthy of being in the same room as him.

So, ladies. Here is a quick rundown, according to "Ian" why you are aren't a worthwhile person because of your holiday Christmas movie selections:

1. A Charlie Brown Christmas:
This makes you Goth and Existential, except when you're making pigpen smoke clouds dancing.
2. A Christmas Story
You're corny. But Cool... in an okay way. That was almost a compliment.
3. Bad Santa
You have a negative outlook on life and enjoy Chinese take-out.
4. The Grinch
You are stuck in a rut... you also may be... get this... grinchy.
5. Its a Wonderful Life
You're a deep thinker, about all the sad crap that happens.
6. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
You're pretty much an idiot.
7. Santa Clause is Coming to Town
Once again, you are a goth chick.

So basically, Christmas tidings aside, if you are single, you should be a one dimmensional person who is happy--- but not too happy. That's how you'll get a man these days. I won't even touch on the whole subject of looks, weight, boobs, or intelligence.

I don't want to sound overly feminist, because I understand that men need some sort of outlet for all the millions of ridiculous emails that circle around the internet like the plague about leaving the toilet seat up. Hey, it annoys me too, but as far as feminism goes, I am certainly becoming more of one the more that hip hop takes the youth of America by storm.

Its not that we're reverting back to pre-1920s propaganda and social norms where women experienced a lower level on society's ladder of existence... its actually pretty much the opposite, and its perpetuated by women themselves. You can only blame men so much for what's happened.
Women can now work any job. Infact, women are expected to work. Many women now carry the men.
Anyway, I think that a lot of crap that women deal with today owes a great big thanks to a culture of people who are churning out this music:

There seems to be alot of mothe fuckers blind to the fact
That a ho is gonna be just that
And this type of ignorance is the very
Reason why so many niggas in the goddamned cemetary
Inteligence is on call
You don’t treat a ho like a queen who behaves lika a dog
Are you the type who wont put a ho in front of a trigger
Then you’re a ho assed nigga
Goddamned hound
Pound for pound
You knew the ho when she was fucking the whole town
She fucked you and gave your buddies a blow
But your trick ass fell in love with the ho
Tried to change her make her be an angel
You keep putting your damn life in danger
Fronting niggas about that slutty ass trifling crow
You gotta let e ho be a ho

Shes a ho, d how the fuck you know
Every time I see the ho she’s with a new negro
Shes the type of ho thats bound
To wear shorts up her ass when your friends come around
Shes the kinda ho thatll make you cry
The kinda ho you have to call before you come by
So why do you wanna kill when she says no more
You ain’t the first to be dumped by a goddamned whore
Crazy mother fuckers fighting over hoes
Stealing for their asses and jumping out of windows
If a ho wants out I let her sinky ass go
Cos ima let a ho be a ho

*** It gets worse, but I'm gonna try to keep it a little cleaner for the kiddies.

This Christmas classic brought to you by Geto Boys and the Letter "G"

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