Monday, February 18, 2008

Brad Pitt: Why I Couldn't Give a Shit

Here it is Sunday and I have had the opportunity to see a few movies this weekend. Inevitably, as I talk about said movies with friends of the female persuasion, the oohing and the ahhing and the gushing will ultimately consume the entire conversation at the very mention of the name: Brad Pitt.
Am I the only one who doesn't find him attractive in the least? Not only Mr. Pitt, but most male actors in general. I don't think any of them are all that great. Not Matt Damon, not Matthew not Ben Affleck... and definately not Brad Pitt. I have never been the type of girl who could get caught up in that fake crush garbage over Ashton Kutcher or Justin Timberlake and I'm glad for that. I remember when I was in high school. I had befriended a girl who was absolutely convinced that Eddie Vedder was her man. The whole wife thing was barely a blemish on the fact that she was going to eventually marry him and have his nasty little babies. I think of that every now and then when a girl flips out over some guy in a movie. I think of my crazed high school friend that most likely carved the various combinations of her and his name into her arm.

Granted most girls who think Brad is just the cutest aren't sending away for locks of his hair in the mail, but I always wondered why it was that I wasn't impressed with the on-air male persona. Is it my lack of imagination or is it that sports heros are much better looking. I think it could be the latter. Anyway, it reminded me of this conversation I had about a year ago. I was at dinner with Mike and our close friend, Wayne. It was just after I had lost a job and was feeling borderline hysterical... but as usual, a good dinner with friends can do wonders. We were all making a list of our top five "celebrity crushes" and all of us were having a really hard time, but it was pretty darn funny. I actually went back and looked at the final list that I had left on a blog for Wayne and in just a year, I think I can make some changes for the better.

It is my hope that this list will make me a little more normal, a little less practical, and a little more... ehhhh. Retarded.
Anyway, here goes:

Jenny's list o' celebrity crushes:
1. Brett Favre-- football star
Seriously. Sports stars are the way to go. Forget those fruity actor boys.

2. Jeff Francoeur-- baseball star
The crazy wife person hanging on him is inconsequentional:

3. Scott Patterson-- baseball star TURNED actor
Now is a good time to point out that this list is not in any specific order:

4. John Cusack-- Actor
I'm talking Better Off Dead Cusack and NOT Being John Malkovich Cusack:

5. Michael Cera-- Actor
This one took some work. I normally go for older men... but for Michael Cera, I am 8 years his senior. Yikes:

6. Mark Ruffalo-- Actor
Since I was edging my way to junior high before Michael Cera could eat solid foods, I think I deserve a back-up. If Mark Ruffallo could just do a few more decent movies and promise to never attempt facial hair again, it would be okay:

There you have it. My five, plus one, list of non-Pitts that are worthy of the girly-girl attention. My absolute favorite, though, is this guy:

So hands off.
Last year's bumped candidates include:
David Schwimmer,

Jake Gylenhall,

Jonathon Crombie,

Andy Roddick,

and JJ Redick.
I could probably be convinced to keep Jonathon Crombie, but the rest are all so yesterday.
By the way that is Hurley with Mike in that picture. She is a neighbors dog and our very good buddy. She has a little crush on Mike as well!

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