Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Oy with the Poodles Already.

My grandfather on my mother's side always used to say: "If you don't like dogs, you ain't no damn good." Or... something to that effect. If I said I believed that to be one of the single most definable traits in a person, that would probably raise many an eyebrow. I cannot, however, tell a lie. I'm not saying you have to love dogs to the extreme that I love mine-- in that not everyone has birthday presents for their dogs once a year and dainty leather flower collars... but if you think dogs are "icky" I don't see us buying matching friendship necklaces anytime soon.

Most of my days, as of late, have been filled with taking the dogs out to the dogpark for some excercise. My goal is to show up there at least once without someone pointing out the adorable little meatball or pointing to Maya and saying: "Wow, she's really round." Anyway, its not such a bad time for me either. Its some excercise walking around the grounds and dodging pecans (they are trying to kill me from above as well as the ground) and its also a nice place to sit and read school books while Maya eats sticks and Midas rolls in stink spots.

The park is pretty new, and already there are some regulars. There is another man who brings his two pugs and a lady that has a large poodle and a pug. A man with two Welsh Corgis (Midas hates this guy as much as Kate Winslett, I don't know why) a lady and her jack russell and another lady with a great dane that are often there when we are. One by one, Midas is training each dog to use me as their personal obstacle course. Its really very embarrassing.

When Midas is at the dog park he likes to run in long, wide, loops at top speed. Sometimes he'll do figure 8's but at some point during his laps, he always has to run between my legs. That's where he always ends up. A momma's boy to the core, he just wouldn't be comfortable anywhere else. Dog by dog, he is teaching everyone to do this. I'm not kidding, both the great dane, the grande sized poodle, and at least one other pug have taken to trying to wedge themselves between my legs in the course of their running. Be that as it may, I have yet to actually wipe out and land completely on my ass. This involves a lot of straddling and hopping and I am a little disturbed by the fact that this is viewed as an acceptable thing to dogs. It seems to amuse the other people enough, though. Maybe that has to do with the fact that, Giselle Bundchen, I am not. I could maybe hit 5'3" if heels were involved and at the dogpark, they certainly are not.

Aside from Midas, the one dog that I have to look out for every single time is the big poodle. That thing's head comes up to just below my chest. Can you picture it trying to use my legs as a tunnel? Its not pretty. I don't know what he gets out of it, but I usually end up feeling violated and at a loss for balance.

So anyway. I was just wondering if anyone else has these sorts of problems. No? I didn't think so.

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