More southern fury

Two of my very close friends are getting married. Heartbroken that I couldn't attend their engagement party, Mike and I tried to find some great gifts for them on their registry. When everything was said an done, I checked the little box at the end of the online purchase form that said: "Ship packages together even if it takes longer." I also filled out a card with a little line that only they would understand.

I checked the package every couple of days to see how the order was progressing and to my dismay, I got an email stating: "Your packages have been shipped separately for your convenience."

Thanks. (Rolls eyes.)

The next blow came when they got the packages (separately of course) and neither had our card on it. This makes me really upset for two reasons. ONE: They then had to be put in the awkward position of asking people who it was from. Recently married myself, that's just not a fun thing to have to do. TWO: What if they didn't know we had sent it? They would have possibly had their feelings hurt thinking that we didn't think of them on their wedding.

I chose to spend my money with the culprit (TARGET!) over other registries they had AND I spent enough of it that I am just going to have to bitch about this. Knowing damn well that me writing a letter wasn't going to do a damn thing but relieve the swirling tornado of bad thoughts ripping through my brain as if it were a trailer park-- I wrote this:

Target floating heads:
I would just like to express my disappointment with your online
ordering system and my regrets that I will not be going to your store
for online purchases in the future.
My order was for around $200 after shipping and I checked a box that
specifically said that I wanted my items shipped together even if
that meant waiting longer.
Then, I received an email stating that for my "convenience" items
were shipped separately for faster shipping. At this point I just rolled
my eyes.
So, then when my items arrived, there was no card with it, putting
the bride and groom in the awkward position of having to ask around
to see who got them the gift and what is even worse, is the fact that
their feelings could have been hurt thinking that we didn't even
think of them when we infact chose to spend our money with you over the
other places they registered.
I am extremely unhappy with how this turned out and as a student just
out of college, spending that amount of money is more than just a drop
in the bucket and I expect my order to be treated more appropriately
and professionally. I will not be using your services in the future.
Thank you,
Jennifer Pavlovich

What's really funny about this, though, is that I'm already pissed off when I get this shit-can auto generated response. Take a read and tell me what's wrong with this picture:

Greetings from Target.com.

Shipping charges are an unavoidable part of using a mail-order
service, but we know that they can seem a nuisance. That's why we're
always working to keep our shipping costs as low as possible.

There are also a few things you can do to keep your shipping charges
down:

-Plan ahead: If you know you're going to need more than one item
from us, order them both at the same time instead of waiting until
you need each one. Shipping things together costs less than shipping
them separately.

-Be patient: If you have a little leeway in your schedule, choose
standard shipping instead of 1-day or 2-day. It takes longer, but it
costs less.

-Bundle up: When checking out, choose the "Group items into as few
shipments as possible" option. Some of your items may arrive a
little later than if you sent them separately, but reducing the
total number of packages is going to save you money.

Thanks for getting in touch with us. I hope you'll visit us again
soon.


Best regards,

Seraj

Target.com Guest Service

Wow. I really liked the third tip. THANKS TARGET.