Imploring Employment

I've been hoarding a small collection of "stories" (aka recent incidents) in my head for some time now hoping to get over them and not allow them to escape into the hostility of a blog sprinkled with conceit and self-righteousness... but that pot has boiled over and here we are.
For a multitude of reasons I still find myself unemployed. My "no worries, I'll find something" attitude has deteriorated away to sheer frustration which I imagine to be a giant sticky ball in my brain that looks like something that would be produced from the nose or mouth of a sick person. The frustration grows and sticking to it is guilt, doubt, hopelessness, self-loathing, hate and blame. Its not pretty. So with an already fragile state of mind, I am entering the world each day with a more attuned critical eye for the people around me. I find myself muttering the words: "... and I can't find a job," several times a day and, in my opinion, with good reason. In the last few weeks alone, I have been faced with these situations:

AT&T
I was taught when I grew up that one shouldn't hate. But I do, I hate them. I hate them SO much. It all started just after our move to Texas when we called and asked for new phone numbers that would reflect our new area codes. We were very clear that we didn't want new accounts and we didn't want to change anything, just the phone numbers. So they did that and told us that if we wanted I was eligible for a new phone. With my grandma living alone I had the brilliant idea to give her my old phone and I got a new "free" phone. Lesson number one: You get what you pay for. After not too long, the new "free" phone started shocking me in the ear and face on occassion. On one such occassion, I dropped it and it shattered like a piece of glass. We took it in to AT&T and told them what happened. This is when they chose to inform us that they had removed our insurance when we got the new phone numbers. So my only option was to buy a new phone at full price. Angry as I was, I may have done just that if it hadn't been for the notice we had received a few weeks earlier saying that due to our not paying the bill for our old phone number (which we no longer used) we had been sent to a collection agency. We called them to ask what this was even about as we still had the same account and they had no record of the bill or of us even having our Florida numbers, EVER, but informed us that we had better pay it because it would effect our credit. So I dropped my service with them and went to Verizon. Mike stayed on but asked when he his contract was up. They said March.
So, seeing as March is next month, we went in to find out exactly what day it was up and look at phones for Mike. When we arrived at approximately 7:30pm, the gates were pulled as if the store was closed, though their hours said they were open until 9:00pm. Sure enough, the door was open so we went in and found ourselves ignored by the store's three employees. One of them eventually informed Mike that his contract had been extended to August and I got really mad and started explaining our situation to which the girl started talking RIGHT OVER ME about whether or not they had a doorstop to prop open the door and let air in. So I stopped talking and waited and finally the boy turns to Mike and says in the snottiest tone I have ever heard: "Sorry Sir, we can't just "break the rules" for you." Mike informed them that it had nothing to do with breaking rules and that these were all THEIR mistakes. Long story short we left without what we wanted and I was mad and offended by the way we had been treated. I kept saying: "How do they have a job? When I did customer service I would have been fired in a heartbeat for not smiling wide enough!"

Next instance:
I pulled up to the drivethrough at McDonald's and the lady handed me my little bag of chicken nuggets without a word. I asked if I could have some sweet and sour sauce and she said: "What?" I repeated "Sweet and sour sauce, please?" and she went and got the manager! He came to the window and said: "Is there a problem, ma'am?" And I sat there completely shocked for a second before I said for the third time: "I just wanted to know if I could have some sweet and sour sauce for the chicken nuggets... if you're out or something, that's fine." He turned to the girl and said something really quick in another langauge and she turned to me with a big smile and handed me the sauce.
Wow.

The Last Straw:
I went to WalMart today. I only needed to get about 7 small things. When I went to the checkout I was second in line and waited about a half hour for the WIC family in front of me (dressed to the nines, by the way) straightened out which items the government would and would not pay for. Finally, its my turn and the lady checking me out hands me the cabbage and says: "you no buy."
I think about an hour passed as we stood there staring at each other and I tried to comprehend what was happening. Finally I said: "No.... I need to buy" and I handed it back to her.
She handed it back to me and said: "No. It no ring up," in some kind of Russiany accent. Again with the standing and the staring. Finally I announced that the cabbage was the reason I had come in there. Which, it was. I told her, as I dropped it back on the conveyor belt in a huff that I would go get a new one. This was all happening as a line gathered behind me and there were TWO supervisors standing around just watching this happen. So I ran all the way back and the other three cabbages that were left also had damaged barcodes from the plastic getting wet. So right there in front of the produce guy who had watched me struggle twice now to reach them off the top shelf I yanked the sign off the cabbages and marched it back over to her and said: "HERE."
She let out long angry sighs that there were no barcodes to punch in and that she had to find the produce code (which she could have done without making me have to run all the way through the store leaving my few items and a line of people who blamed me for the hold-up) and she dumped everything into bags. Without a word she turned herself away from me and handed the receipt OVER HER BACK SHOULDER and left me to squeeze in behind her to take my own bags.
Once again, I found myself wondering why I couldn't find a job but the employee of the month here didn't get so much as a raised eyebrow from the supervisor not more than five feet away during the whole incident.

This sort of thing is really taking a toll on me. Not to mention, with no graphic design jobs even available to apply to, I have taken to searching for ANYTHING else from nanny jobs to data entry. There are some crap jobs out there and I'm not even getting THOSE!

For your amusement here are some "job" postings this week. I am pretty sure that some of these belong somewhere other than the job postings, but what do I know. Also, I have not changed the grammar or spelling mistakes so you can really soak it all in:


wanted: one or two females needed for housecleaning new house... house isnt large roughly 1300 sq ft... a perfect detailed job not even needed.. only request is that u be comfortable performing this task in skimpy sexy wear.. will be private and safe.. there will be no touching or any kind of sexual favors..if u enjoy and can handle it can make it a routine deal.we can workout payment i was thinking around 200 dollars for maybe hour or less of work not bad.increase in pay if u come back. any questions and reply with pic..thanks

I'm thinking about getting a scooter and selling my car, but I've never driven one and am not sure if I should go through the trouble of taking an expensive motorcycle course without knowing I feel comfortable on one. I would pay $25 an hour for compensation. Thank you! Have a fun day!

我給我孩子們找一個保姆。星期三至星期五, 2:45-6ish。你可以帶來你白己的孩子This position requires you to have a car to pick up the kids from school and take them to karate/ piano. Cooking, grocery shopping and teaching Chinese are some of the duties。15 hrs/week. Do not apply if Mandarin is not your first language. 直樹力歲，直孑六歲。

I am seeking a training partner of similar size to myself to learn Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with me. I'm an instructor and can only compensate with individual instruction time. If you like submission grappling and are looking for a great way to be entertained while improving your fitness level please contact me. My professor is Joao Crus and joining his school would be required in order for you to train with me. His website is www.joaocrusbjj.com

I have written a movie that will be in need of TWO monster puppets. http://massify.com/pitches/onceuponatime

I know a few ninja's.... an I know there are a few custom boot makers.... Are there any custom ninja boot makers.... aka tabi boots or split toe boots? I would like to have a pair made out of leather....

I am looking for someone to file chapter 7 for me.

I'm a hairstylist in So. Austin and I have a weekly newsletter that goes out, via email, to my clients. I have over 200 emails.
Do to my growing business, and lacking in writing skills, I'm looking for someone who would like to do some bartering, like cut and coloring.
I'm looking for someone with creative idea around the beauty and self improvement area. Must have writing experience.
Compensation: no pay

GOOD TIMES.