Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Wow, its been so long since I have had the time, and more importantly, the energy to sit down and really complain about life, that I worry I may have lost my readers! Both of them!

I have had a bunch of things floating around in my head, though, that I wanted to tell you about so I'll try to cram it all in here and then maybe not get so behind again. If you're expecting any sort of order or grammatical structure to this, however, you're not likely to find it. Infact, I've already lost my train of thought as my eyes wandered over to Maya who is sitting quietly in the sun chewing the face off a stuffed rabbit.

Okay then.

First off, in my unwellness, I got to spend more time in bed watching TV than I am accustomed to. I kept seeing this annoying Nutri-system commercial over and over again with Jillian Barbiere in it and it really makes me think that the creators of these commercials, or possibly even the entire product line, are men. But not just any man, stupid, stupid men.
I'm not exactly your ladie's lib candiadate of the year-- infact, I hate Hillary Clinton, but I do think that these commercials are mildly offensive!
The first time I ever noticed them was when they boasted the pretty, skinny later who gushed all over about becoming a trophy wife. Wow, what a catch. But I get the idea and blah, blah, blah, didn't think of it again. Until Ms. Jillian Barbiere steps out onto the scene wearing form-fitting blue jeans and a top that shines like a polyester moon. Her big job is to catch a football and announce triumphantly: "Now, how many girls can do that?!"
Ummm... lets see, how many girls in the world minus the ones without arms minus Marcia Brady and I think we've got the answer! What do you mean how many girls can catch a football that is gently tossed in their direction? I don't know about you, but if someone tossed me a football, I would whip off a shoe and hold it up to my face and start talking on it like it was a telephone. THAT IS JUST HOW CONFUSED I WOULD BE.
And when this whole diet revolution first blorted onto the scene a few years back, I never assumed that its shiny, plastic, red-tinted food stuffs were for fat women only... I assumed that they were for fat PEOPLE. How wrong I was, as they have now, due to popular demand, I suppose, come out with a Nutri-System for Men. It is probably a bag of low-fat chips and a video of Jillian Barbiere catching a football in slow-motion set to repeat a thousand times. I don't know. Feel free to watch the above video and see if you get what I'm saying.

Also, be sure to check out my other two blogs below. I decided to split them up for readability sake.

Clearly I can't think of a witty way to end this, so I'm going to crawl into the closet with my plastic hamburger and hide from any footballs which could be wizzing through the air.

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