I loved school, yeah, I was one of THOSE kids. But seriously, school was awesome. Usually if I am feeling nostalgic, no bad thoughts come to mind, but this morning I was forced to relive a childhood trauma and I would just like to know if anyone else went through the same shit. Okay, here goes. (deep breath) It started when I wanted to buy a milk from the cafeteria and all they had was whole milk... which I don't drink and never have. Its right up there with glossy meat. Anyway, So I bought this orange-strawberry-banana concoction in an old fashioned paper milk container. But when I was trying to open it, the edges stuck together and the damn thing wouldn't open right... you know... when you squeeze the tabs together and then push it back out so that you can drink from it? Well, all I do is shred the paper on the thing and then I basically am preforming all out surgery. I took a pen and made a hole and then ripped a spot open but now I have a milk carton that is covered in black ink and soggy paper chunks. This totally brings me back to second grade because I could NEVER open the damn milk cartons. NEVER. And that was really hard for me! Everyone else never seemed to have a problem! Its one of those moments that make me wonder whether I don't have just a touch of down syndrome or something, like that brief time in the third grade when I couldn't master which side of the paper one was supposed to write on. Anyway, as far as childhood trauma goes here's my Top Ten List of things that Still give me Nightmares from before I turned 13:10. Bagel Day and the inside of Dan Wilson's desk where the bagels hid out for weeks at a time before taking on a life of their own.9. Watching Jeff Karns eat paste8. (for anyone who lived in the north) the fear of not being able to find your boots in the hallway7. The time I watched my best friend Michelle throw up in someone's boot.6. Losing a tooth during class but being too afraid to say anything.... so.... I seriously sat all through class with a bloody tooth in my mouth. In my defense it was my first day at a new school... but still! 5. Never being certain that there was not a layer of plastic wrap baked into the top of the school's pizza... it looked so.... glossy.....4. Packing lunches. For someone who doesn't eat deli meat, this is tramautizing and I either got Peanut Butter and Jelly or this strange bread and cheese concoction that my mom thought up. Neither were very good.3. Square dancing in gym2. the milk carton, hello1. Riding your bike to school.... locking it up on the bike rack with your cool new bike lock and then forgetting the combination by the time the end of the day comes....I'd like to take this time to give a special thanks to all the elementary schools I attended and all the people who made them special. you know who you are.Edmonson, Clear Lake, and North. You are the best.