Saturday, June 2, 2007

Phone Service From the Fonze.

I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to write some endless rant about the weird office troll when I could have been telling you about Saturday spent with the Fonz.So I am supposed to get my house phone installed between the hours of 11am and 2pm on Saturday morning. THANK GOD that Kelly was there with me or else I would have been terrified. So Henry Winkler shows up, you know, Fonzie, from Happy Days, and well.... I'll have to start from the beginnging...Kelly had just come into the house carrying a wonderful bag of Moe's fine Mexican cuisine and informed me that there was a confused man outside who was possibly the cable/phone guy. So I went outside to greet him where he assumed that I was Michael Pavlovich. Do I LOOK like a Michael? Whatever, I just basically agreed with him and he didn't know what he was talking about anyway. He had to go around back to check on some connection so he didn't actually come upstairs until we were done with our lunch.At this time he asks us if we have the internet. I said "yes," and he says: "Well, that's impossible because none of your wires are hooked up."How am I supposed to respond to that? We had the internet AND cable, so I don't know what he's talking about.He then starts to ask me a bunch of questions and I have to ask him to repeat every single one of them because he mumbles like an old man with no teeth. Right in the middle of all this digital phone grilling he practically jumps back and looks at Kelly and says: "HEY! I've seen you before!" A little scared, Kelly says: "Uh, yeah, just outside?" So all of this fun continues for three fun filled hours. In the meantime he starts asking me if he can have my dog and if I have an alarm system.... then to my shock and dismay, he pulls some of Midas' dog toys out of his pocket and starts playing with the dog! Why are his toys in the Fonz' pockets? Not only is he playing with Midas but he's leaping around like a 250 pound monkey and we live on the second floor! It was like Jurassic Park in there!The whole thing was just really scary. I guess you would have had to been there. I'm scared that he's going to come to my house when I'm not home and get permission from the golf cart nazis to come in (since he works for Brighthouse and all) and he's going to steal my dog and sniff my underwear!

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