Saturday, June 2, 2007

Resolustion Dissillusion

I was listening to the conversation around the office yesterday about New Years Resolutions. Is it sad that each of the resolutions that everyone had made could totally apply to me? Literally, all of them. I could adopt any of them and it would make me a better person. I can't say: "Well, I already have this goal covered..."Holy crap, I'm a mess! Lets run down the list here:1. Isn't it always everyone's goal to lose weight? I am certainly no exception to this. I could stand to have a goal that would have me blend in less with say, a herd of cattle. I say this, but only moments ago I found myself IMing away with one of my closest friends about all of the great restaurants that we're going to eat at when we move to Texas. I know, somehow, that on both ends of that conversation, drooling Homer Simpson noises were being made at the mention of Cheddars, Chuys, and the Texas Land and Cattle restauarant.To make the goal of weight loss a little less painful or less intimidating, there are two resolution offshoots that come from this common crusade.a.) To work out more. Well, I MAY have this one covered because at my last job, the printer was on my desk. Here, I have to actually WALK to the printer. I figure I burn an average of 7 more calories a day, that way. GO ME! But seriously. I don't remember what the inside of my gym looks like, and worse.... Its going to take some serious self-motivation to get me back into work out mode like I was previously. Infact, this would lead me right into a WHOLE OTHER resolution. See resolution 4.b.) Eat better. If there is any resolution in the world that was handwritten for me, its this one. I have been eating so much fast food for convenience sake, that when I sweat, it smells like onion rings. I haven't made this a New Year's resolution, but out of sheer luck, I have actually had time to cook all of twice this week. INFACT, I ate a salad yesterday and I didn't die. This is exciting news! Now if I could just work fruits and vegetables back into my diet, my food guide pyramid might start returning to normal. As it is, there are four main levels: Chicken nuggets, fries, soda, and taco bell. I don't even love the taste of this stuff! Its just so eeeasy. 2. To get out of debt. This one can apply to me too. Infact, just today, I figured out that if I pay a little over $550 dollars a month in school loans, I can have them paid off in just two years~! Ehhhhhhhhh.3. To save more money. Its a nice thought, but see Resolution number 2.4. To get up earlier. Okay, well, the one I heard was to get on a more regimented sleep schedule, but to me this translates as "get ass out of bed when alarm goes off. NOT 45 minutes later." This would have to be the one that I would go for. I think that waking up late each day is the root to all my problems. If I got up early, I would have time to work out, to make myself a healthy lunch and still not have to rush getting ready. I could take the dogs for a walk before work, I would be at work earlier, get home earlier, I would have MORE TIME IN MY DAY. Its not like I'm asking THAT much of myself. I get my 8 hours. I'm just saying if I could get my fat ass out of bed at 6 or 6:30, my whole life would be better.That said, I think I'll take the advice of yet another friend who has decided to opt for low expectations. After all, I don't really know anyone who is still working on their new years resolution in september. Maybe if I made a New Years resolution to gain weight, eat badly, be more slothly, squander money, develop a gambling addiction, and sleep in everyday I will actually end up being a better person than if I plan to do the opposite. Does that make sense? Well. In the worlds of an old friend...Da dunno.

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